A bloke’s ego is made up of all those things which help us define who we are as individuals, it is a construct of our personality, character, self-image, self-esteem and self-worth.
In some conversations that we have, we may think “That man has such an enormous ego – I’ve never known anyone so full of themselves!” One dictionary definition states someone’s ego is their sense of their own worth. For example, if someone has a large ego, they think they are very important and valuable. “He had a massive ego; never would he admit he was wrong.” It is the latter part of this definition that often leads blokes into spaces they would rather not be i.e. not talking about the stuff which is important to our wellbeing. This can be personal issues such as relationships, finance, family, work and/or any other challenges.
Perhaps part of this ego equation for blokes is enshrined in the main things we worry about, which quite often are about the traditional expectations of society, our place in society – career-wise and success wise. As a collective us blokes are still perceived by how much we are earning and how well we are doing, that is being defined by the work we do. We are more than this.
Additionally, social/spiritual wellbeing needs to be better understood and made a higher priority by all blokes and society. We talk about it in all our education sessions, it is where we find: our identity, our individuality, our culture, our own sense of self, our sense of belonging, our passions and interests. It is what each of us wants it to be.
In practical terms this is us blokes talking about and being more than our work. In conversations with each other we should be talking about the fact that we are a great dad, a brother, a grandfather, an uncle, a husband, a family man, a rally driver, BBQ king, handyman, and/or chef. By talking about what makes us tick (in part, our ego) we can put a positive spin around the meaning of ego, the main one being admitting when we are wrong and/or when we are struggling with life.
Culturally blokes in general are fixers “I’ll fix this myself”, so we must always question what we are fixing, how we are fixing it, and when we are fixing it? We know all men need to talk, the million-dollar question is to whom and where? Everyone needs their personal space, for blokes to engage and have a conversation we need a safe place and quite often a place with a masculine vibe. This can be the men’s shed, a sporting club, a social club, just leaning over the back of the ute or even the barber shop.
We need to have this conversation now; Our ego is not that complex, it is part of our DNA so remember our saying… before it all gets too much… Talk to a Mate®!!
By The Regional Men’s Health Initiative
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