The world operates on the back of the people who show up! This saying is so true, and we see it in action throughout so many of the amazing communities we visit in regional, rural and remote Western Australia. Our small but durable communities are filled with individuals that have a huge capacity to endure the multiple challenges of working and living in the bush. That’s why it’s especially important to recognize our community champions who go above and beyond to keep things ticking over so everyone can enjoy a bit of work/life balance in their patch. We all do things daily without expecting a pat on the back, but it’s not hard to show a little appreciation to those who spread themselves too thin.
A field known as Positive Psychology (focusing on one’s strengths) has come up with findings that this aids in increasing wisdom, satisfaction and a sense of purpose. It’s common sense really: how good do we feel when someone tells us we have done a good job?
There are three main areas where we can have a direct influence and use some positive psychology: in our family lives, in and around our working lives and in our community groups (sporting clubs, rotary/men’s sheds, church groups).
The interesting thing is that it’s almost a social and personal expectation to continually commit ourselves to our family, working, and community lives, and rightly so. These are all important areas and putting time and effort in gives us satisfaction.
Getting the balance right, however, between these three commitments is tough, especially when expectations are not understood. In the work we do we come across a lot of misunderstanding and distress caused by individuals not communicating what their expectations are. For example, a husband and wife discussing personal versus relationship expectations, a parent and teenager discussing boundaries, a boss and staff member discussing working conditions/priorities, and/or a footy coach discussing positions/roles within his team.
Some simple tips:
- Challenge negative thoughts and behaviours; is this helpful to me and my situation or only going to make it worse?
- I can’t control what happens around me, but I can choose how I respond to things.
- Focus on and encourage the positive things in ourselves and others. Studies have shown that gratitude is linked to positive emotions, satisfaction and overall wellbeing.
- Provide feedback in private. Best and fairest, employee of the month and the school certificate presented in front of all our peers is fine, but to give someone individual feedback and let them know they’re doing a great job will have a longer lasting impact.
- People can’t hear what we don’t say. Express our feelings and expectations and be willing to not only discuss these but we may need to be open to negotiation.
Having high expectations can be positive. They can help us grow as individuals and/or as a collective, reach achievements and hit our targets. However, many of us can also take this too far. We can easily become cynical about ourselves and others, especially when it comes to making mistakes. Shaming and blaming doesn’t help! Look for the strengths in others and yourself and don’t forget to give credit where credit is due.
By The Regional Men’s Health Initiative
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