We are all challenged, in both our personal and other relationships in life, whether we have a partner, are single, or involved in the many community groups and workplaces that make our life tick.
Personal relationships go through many stages that challenge the ever-changing dynamic of our relationships. These stages can be the catalyst for relationships ending, through people growing apart and being challenged by their own emotional insecurity and identity. Some of these stages may include:
- having children and/or ‘empty nesting’ when the kids leave home;
- a death or sickness in the family or community group we belong to;
- the stages of a man’s life when our identity is challenged, usually around late adolescence, mid-life, and retirement. Finding that sense of purpose along with passions/interests is the key for balance in our life;
- menopause has many phases which often challenge ladies, as blokes we quite often do not observe changes in those women around us even though it is happening under our eyes. It is necessary to adapt our habits to suit;
- diminished testosterone levels due to ageing (male menopause);
- the people we choose to associate with.
We must remember – It is not your responsibility to make your spouse happy. It is up to each person to make that happen for themselves. We do, however, play a significant role in whether or not our spouses feel appreciated, which is a good start for a healthy relationship.
“If your home environment is good, peaceful and easy, your life is better and easier.” (Lori Greiner)
As blokes our relationships are also quite often challenged in the community setting/workplace and the ‘my way or the highway’ approach. If we have been single all our life or have lost a partner recently, being connected to community through groups of interest is important. Accepting diversity and being prepared to try new interests will lead us down the path of many new and enduring relationships.
Being able to agree to disagree respectfully is a skill that seems lost on society, and an important one to maintain good relationships. We do not have to believe in the many things that people may say, but with compassion, compromise and empathy (the ability to understand and share the thoughts of another person) we can still be involved in that community group. Many blokes butt heads and walk away, missing the many benefits of being connected.
All relationships are ongoing and a work in progress. It is imperative that we communicate, communicate, and communicate more to have healthy relationships and reap the health benefits that go with it. It is also important that if the relationship (in any setting) is not working and/or unrecoverable, it is alright to walk away.
I read an article recently on relationships which included the following summation: “Honesty is the most valuable attribute you can bring to a relationship, along with a willingness to communicate and compromise,” remembering compromise is about give and take, not one-sided sacrifice.”
As always, remember…before it all gets too much…Talk to a Mate®!!
By The Regional Men’s Health Initiative
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