Violence against an intimate partner or family member is an abhorrent and very real problem in Australia. It has catastrophic, long-term effects on men, women and children. It isn’t confined to just a small demographic either, as it crosses gender, cultural, socio-economic, religious and racial lines as well as sexual preference.
We are creatures of habit and routine so how does this affect our wellbeing? Our wellbeing is often described as a state of being content, healthy, secure, safe and happy. To have good wellbeing requires planning, making decisions, having a sense of purpose, a sense of hope, something to look forward to and then some luck.
When learning to drive we’re constantly reminded about the importance of checking our rear-view mirror, not just when reversing or changing lanes but for general awareness of our surroundings and enhancing our peripheral vision. However, spending too much time looking in the rear-view mirror can be hazardous as it distracts us from what’s happening in front of us and may delay our ability to avoid an accident
Transition periods are a normal part of life, they are ongoing through our many different ages and stages and are often associated with varying aspects of change or moving out of our comfort zone. Most young people, regardless of attending agricultural college or mainstream high school, growing up on a farm or in the city (both male & female) will have experienced some form of change in recent years. Whether developmentally (puberty), moving away from home, creating new friendships or the expectations placed on you around attitude, behaviour and study requirements, change is inevitable.
Getting blokes to talk openly and frankly about health issues can sometimes be a struggle, especially if they feel like they can’t show vulnerability, or they don’t want to worry others with their problems. Whilst I’m the first to admit that talking about fishing and footy is great, we need to be open to broadening the range of topics that we are happy to cover in general conversation.
Stress is normal, in fact it’s essential for our survival. It’s the body’s way of preparing us for a fight or flight response. However, continual elevated stress can lead to dysfunction and often, as blokes we hit the bottle as a form of self-medication. Our first step should be to talk to someone and seek help if we’re feeling stressed, but historically, as blokes, we’ve been pretty poor at this. As a result of alcohol self-medication, we see twice as many men die of alcohol abuse, and men in their sixties are more likely than any other demographic to die as a direct result of alcohol.
Walking the tightrope of being a stepdad can be a particularly stressful time for many blokes and this added situational distress, that some blokes sometimes find themselves in, can be both challenging and take time to resolve. Remember all relationships are a work in progress.
When we as blokes, arrive at the decision with our partners that the pitter-patter of tiny feet, 2am feeds and toxic nappies are not on the agenda anymore, then some form of permanent contraception is one possible pathway. There are options for the ladies in our lives, but those options can involve major surgery and unwanted side effects. The male version in terms of permanent surgical sterilization is the vasectomy and by comparison it’s minor surgery with little to no side effects.
For our small team of community educators working in the field of men’s health and wellbeing, we are always challenged on what is classified as a mental illness. We realize there is a small percentage of the population who have a genetic mental illness predisposition. Situational Distress however describes a stage in our mental health and wellbeing that gives us permission to be in a space between being well and being diagnosed with a mental illness. The adoption of this language resonates with blokes and community and fosters change to take personal responsibility for our own wellbeing and health.
We promote the point that choice around our lifestyle is mostly up to us. While genetics, environment and the health system can also impact on our health and wellbeing, in the context of drugs and alcohol the choice is ultimately ours and the consequences of use and misuse are clear and so are the laws.