An important question we all need to be asking ourselves as a community member is how can we reduce overall societal violence?
We need to consider that the majority of violence in our society is men on men and it goes largely unreported to the police and has limited exposure in the media because it is too common a subject. Why is all the focus on male violence to females when all violence is abhorrent, evil and sick?
Under the umbrella of societal violence, men on men violence, statistically is the largest category (69% of all murder victims) and until this is recognised, talked about and addressed, all the other statistics relating to violence, in particular family/domestic violence, will be hard to change.
This is a tough conversation to have but it needs to be had. The historical background of our society, through thousands of years, has defined men by events that have condoned, championed, accepted and normalized violent actions. Many historical and current events are horrific and violent, such as the invasion of other countries, civil war, ethnic cleansing, and sporting contests both in the gladiator/roman days and today with modern day cage fighting as an example. This type of violence, usually men against men, is often called entertainment. Society justifies and supports it every day.
Traditionally for blokes our fight or flight sequence is fear, anger and then aggression. When we are talking with angry young (and old) men we need to continually put into place positive strategies reinforcing that physical aggression and violence against anybody is not condoned and should not be part of modern society.
Family/domestic violence can happen in any relationship and can happen to any socioeconomic group. Victims can be men, women or children, perpetrators can be men or women. Family/domestic violence encapsulates not just physical abuse but also emotional or psychological abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse and financial abuse. Recognising that you are in a violent relationship is an important first step. Things will not change for the better if you do nothing.
There are many commentators on family/domestic violence, and it is disappointing that the majority ignore men and children. Do people realise that one in three victims of reported domestic/family violence is male? Therein lies the philosophical problem when we don’t balance out the whole discussion. We need to be having an ongoing holistic community discussion on the broader issue of societal violence.
Just to repeat family/domestic violence is a subset of the total picture of violence, and in our opinion, we will struggle to stop family/domestic violence without discussing the bigger picture. Random violent acts are being broadcast by social media continually, thus delivering instant gratification, adoration and promoting this violence in society as acceptable and normal.
All of us men need to be having a serious discussion about tackling violence in our lives and saying yes to stopping violence against each other, against women, against children, and against the community.
As always, remember…before it all gets too much…Talk to a Mate®!!
By The Regional Men’s Health Initiative.
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