A wise man said to me recently the three things a man needs is to love someone; to do something meaningful and to have something to look forward to. These three things are a constant through the different stages of a man’s life whether it be adolescence, mid-life, transition and/or retirement.
We need to remember these three needs and actively stay engaged as they are a strong conduit to maintaining a healthy disposition and aid in building something else into our lives, other than just our work to identify ourselves by.
We often talk about our random capacity to deal with stuff in our lives (this varies from person to person). Most of us operate within the bounds of a rubber band (non-stretched and stretched). This innate capacity often boils down to how we are individually hardwired, and it may also reflect our upbringing and/or events experienced through our life journey. What we do know is that we all need to unplug the dam to let some stuff out every now and then so that the dam doesn’t burst its banks and cause us to crash.
When we link the three things a man needs (that is to love someone; do something meaningful and to have something to look forward to) to our capacity to deal with stuff in our lives (i.e. stopping the dam wall from bursting), it helps life run more smoothly, and helps to:
- maintain balance;
- make sense of some of the fundamentals in our DNA (our warrior attitude); and
- improve our individual capacity to both survive and thrive.
We need to be mindful of living in the present and connecting with others. For a bloke, this connectedness is important and can be maintained simply by attending a local men’s shed, playing sport (i.e. football, bowls, golf, tennis or participating/watching our preferred sport with a friend), having a cuppa with a neighbour or spontaneously dropping in on a mate. So, remember to take time to laugh with others and enjoy what we do, Talk to a Mate® about our health and wellbeing and/or ask him how he is going, and make sure we block out some time at the end of our busy periods to have a break.
As our priorities change in life, we need to reflect on our own values. Three of these are; healthy living, having purpose and being connected to community. These are important values to us at every age and stage of our lives and when we line these up with the three things a man needs, that is:
- to love someone – i.e. healthy living;
- to do something meaningful – i.e. purpose, sense of achievement;
- to have something to look forward to – i.e. connectedness to community.
Then life starts to make some sense.
Us blokes need to recognise and talk about these significant aspects of our lives, so we can fulfil our potential and ultimately enjoy the journey. Don’t take anything for granted, we don’t know what will happen tomorrow.
By The Regional Men’s Health Initiative
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